Tuesday, 22 September 2009

America's Next Top Model Season 12: Moving Dramz And The First Proper Shoot

The one thing that strikes you first about this season of ANTM, is HHPOF! Miz Tyra's jiggling bosom. It is immense and all kinds of hypnotic... maybe that's the secret of her Inner Fierce?

Anyway, here we are, moving day in N Y Freaking C. Obviously there's LOADS of squealing and shots of Times Square just in case you forget where you are and to further push the point home, the girls are sent to the Empire State Building.

According to Kortnie, the Empire State Building is like 80 floors high or something which she knew from her ears popping. Bless her!

At the top is the best present ever - Noted Fashion Photographer (TM) and Generally Quite Easy On The Eye Nigel Barker! And Paulina Poritzkova with bad make up!

Celia/Michelle Off Of Season 4 gets the keys to the house and her choice of bed. The hosue is lovely and as always is decorated with the prerequisite photos of HHPOF! and the past winners, as well as having it's own catwalk which will be criminally underused.

Sandra is clearly angling for the bitch role of this series. Which isn't doing her any favours. Except she can count and has discovered there's only 12 beds but 13 girls. Quelle horreur et surprise. You know what that means - Who. Will. Be. Eliminated. To-NIGHT-AH?

So Isabella is our resident living with illness (in this case epilepsy) girl. And now we're all sharing issues. Blah. Get back to fighting bitches.

London, she ain't dim - you know something's going to happen when you see Mr and Miz J?! No way!

So up they go for their first runway. And there's strobe lighting. Do you know what that means for Poor Isabella?! She might DIE! Or y'know, just have a fit or actually be just fine with it. What it means for the rest of us we have to endure some really awful walking.

Tahlia wasn't happy with being covered up and stomped up and down like a donkey.

Sandra only got halfway down, did a crazy weird leg kick back and wandered off again, leaving the judges all kinds of surprised.

The rest were just meh. I'm going to say it again, if you're going to try out for ANTM, for the love of fierce, practice your walking!!!!

MR JAY LOOKS FREAKING AWESOME in his weird lil superhero outfit! If all workout outfits were like his, I would consider actual exercise.

Anyway, the theme of the shoot is good girls retaining their innocence in a world where girls grow up too fast or some such Worthy Cause Close To Tyra's Heart. Christian Marc and Sutan are back in hair and makeup - love them two. Their eye rolling is beyond compare

There's no one outstanding during the shoot but then no one who seems totally awful either.

As an aside, thank goodness they got rid of that awful scrolling Tyra Mail nonsense.

Judging! (A brief rundown)

Rules to own your inner fierceness? AMAZING

Celia gets a snap for her weird ass top thing.

London looks fab in her photo.

Paulina's hair is MASSIVE

Jessica has a wonky eye.

Allison looks cute - she's like a doll.

Natalie proved why those stupid hairbands should be banned (ahaha!)

Nigel again proves the voice of reason and reins in TyTy's crusade for Tahlia - her photo was only ok.

And best photo of the week is.... Allison! Yay! Love her!

Bottom two - Isabella and Sandra..... ain't so cocky now are you bee-yatch? HHPOF! tries to crank up some tension but it's fairly obvious that....

.... Isabella goes home. She was too nice and unnoticable.

Next week..... MAKE OVER DRAMZ!!!!