Monday, 6 April 2009

America's Next Top Model: Season 11 Episode 12 - Fantastic Four? Not So Much...

Oh for goodness sake Marjorie. STFU. I'm so over you right now. Having survived the bottom two again, Marjorie is now infused with some sort of joie de vivre which has sent her into paroxysms of smiling like a demented pixie. Naturally it's unnerving everyone else too.

Paulina was up for the first teach involving selling With Your Eyes. Or rather without speaking. None of them were awful but none of them were outstanding. But then it seemed to involve smelling dead fish and hugging loo rolls....

The task was to audition for a commercial involving jogging and cute guys and taxis. And no speaking. And Mark Vanderloo. To win $10,000 at G-Star. I'm not quite sure I could spend $10,000 at G-Star - a girl can only wear so many jeans surely...?

But seriously, flirting while running on a treadmill? Flirting while running full stop?! What kind of madness is this?! And there's no actual cab for Mark Vanderloo to be safely locked in. Remember the girls have been starved of male hotness for WEEKS - apart from gazing at Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker from a safe (for him) distance.

Mckey got the flirting and running down very well indeed. But then she's a cage fighter so she does running like all the time. Or something.

Analeigh was very elegantly cute. Samantha was typical All American Gal. Marjorie? Oh Marjorie. She was all cutesy nervousness, including random giggling, which managed to win her the task to the surprise of many no doubt.

Back to the house and Marjorie likes her new found flirting confidence and calls the boys who ferried them around to the go sees. Hurrah! Boys! Drinking! Except Marjorie's the only one who drinks! What's that about?! And now Marjorie is in the bath with Bernard! And she still has her clothes on! And no one quite understands what's going on! What happened to like in earlier seasons when everyone got drunk??? That was far more entertaining.

On to the shoot which was in front of a WINDMILL and they had to wear CLOGS because, y'know, they're in AMSTERDAM. Sheesh, cliches have never been so stylised.

Mr Jay thought Marjorie was drunk. She may well have been - she was packing those shots away the night before. She pulled some good photos though even if they were all a bit samey and dull.

Samantha totally fell flat this week and had to have some extra coaching from Mr Jay which he Does Not Like To Do. She complained about the clogs hurting and how she wasn't in the zone and yeah, whatever.

Analeigh did her usual jumping around and Mckey climbed up the windmill a bit. Mr Jay was loving it.

Mckey's photo was universally loved. Marjorie's was ok but a bit meh. Samantha was meh and HHPOF! Miz Tyra went on about her downturned top lip. Umhm. Analeigh was fab as ever.

Best picture this week was Analeigh unsurprisingly. Then Mckey leaving Marjorie and Samantha in the bottom two.

HHPOF! Miz Tyra waffled on for a while about Marjorie being all composed and showing no personality and then sent her home. Apparently all her personality was tied up in the fact she was a nervous wreck ALL THE TIME. Who knew she even had a personality?

Anyoldhoo, it's the FINAL next week!! Walking on ridiculous catwalks! More running! Tears! Dramas!

Who. Will. BE [I love that ridiculous emphasis here]. America's. Next. Top. Model?

Going from the quick shots of the Cover Girl ads, my money's on Analeigh or Mckey....