Monday, 9 February 2009

America's Next Top Model: Season 11 Episode 3 - The One Where Nothing Much Happens At All And We're All Still Waiting For Makeover Dramz

So this week started with the girls getting back to the house to see Marjorie's pic already up. Marjorie acted all coy and nervous but I suspect inside she's all "Damn bitches! I OWN this thing now!". Maybe.

Anyhow, it's a good one this week - Benny Ninja and pose-a-rama shenanigans! He introduces the girls to Aussie glamazon Bree Robertson. She is crazy flexible and appropriately labelled 'Model and contortionist'. Amazing.

Benny'n'Bree (what is with all the Bree-ness in ANTM?!) slipped into some fabric tubes and started firing off pose after pose. Posing in fabric tubes you ask? Sounds insane but provided something to push against to get those crazy shapes and poses. Nikeysha got some critique and guess what? Back chatted her way against it. At this point I figured she was the goner this week.

*sigh* The predictable faux lesbionic action happened during a game of Truth Or Dare with bi-sexual Elina and All American Cali Girl Clark. Cute Lil Hannah was uncomfortable with all the sexiness and transsexiness going on. Sheena called her out on it but she didn't explain herself very well. Well when you grew up without electricity... Cue the tears and a life lesson in how not to offend people.

Onto the challenge. Ooh ooh! Modelling for Tarina Tarantino!!! I looooove her stuff. Lucky them! Unfortunately, a lot of them didn't seem to get the whole idea of posing. There was a lot of dubious positioning of products and body parts and a lot of toe action. Eww. Feet are nasty y'all. Nikeysha was so out this week. Who the heck steps on set and annouces they need to go to the toilet?!

Sheena is hoochy. Girl can't help it. Yeah she's flexible but there's no need for all the crotch showing! Elina won the challenge, simply for not being as awful as the rest of them I think.

A photoshoot where the girls have to hang off a hot air balloon? Marvellous. Except it was too windy for the balloon so the girls were hanging of a rope ladder on a crane. Which is not so marvellous.

Wow. Elina is awesome. Her face is so symmetrical and her poses were great. Brittany was a very frowny. There was a lot of issues with a lot of the girls. Mr Jay went into super bitch mode with frustration.

Judging time! Do you know the prizes? Do you?! Paulina's hair was not working for her this week. Nigel was totally working it. I worry that HHPOF! Miz Tyra tries to stroke him all the time.

Nikeysha was picked on for her weight letting her poses down but her face was awesome.

Lauren Brie was great - all angles and poised ankles. Paulina and Tyra disagreed over Isis' shot. She had faded a bit this week in all honesty.

Tarina Tarantino loved Sheena's shot but Paulina questioned the realness of her breasts. Sheena stepped forward and admitted they weren't after first denying it which won the judges over.

Joslyn had a good shot and was very cute again. I like her though I don't think she'll win.

Lauren won the pic of the week with one of the best photos EVER IN ANTM HISTORY!! Apparently. Elina next, then Joslyn to round out the top 3.

Final 2..... Isis and Nikeysha. Isis had struggled this week and Nikeysha was just annoying as hell. Would I be right in my prediction...? Yes, yes I would because I am awesome. And ANTM has become predictable in its editing. It's got to the point where the girl featured the most is the one going home. I suppose it means they get their maximum five minutes of fame but please, mix it up a bit!

But more importantly, when are the make overs?!?!?!?!