Wednesday, 4 February 2009

America's Next Top Model: Season 11 Episode 2 - VOTE With Your Smiling Eyes!

This week saw our plucky wannabes move into their new house in LA (I'm confused though - I thought ANTM had relocated back to NYC? Or was I just imagining it?) with the obligatory shrieking and squealing and squeeing. Of course the house was like a shrine to HHPOF! Miz Tyra with her fierceness looking at them from every available space.

And thank goodness they've done away with the scrolling Tyra Mail. Instead, a tv flashes up a fabulous pic of Miz Tyra doing her best US Postal worker impression. Old-meets-nu-skool - nice touch.

Anyhoo, inevitably the girls who were born girls started asking Isis all sorts of questions about being transgender and were for the most part very supportive. Apart from one of the Brittney/Brittany/Britney/whatevers now aka ShaRaun who was ridiculously rude and mean.

The first task was a meet'n'greet with the judges which was tenuously linked to magic and magicians or something. The most important bit was the entrance of Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker. This was gratuitously filmed with lingering close ups and no complaints. Paulina, Nigel and Miz J seperated into various rooms and the girls had to run and find them and tell them a bit about themselves. Sweet sweet Marjorie became cloying with her nerves and teeth, Seriously, the girl is all doe eyes and teeth. Miz J seemed to get on well with Joslyn and ShaRaun freaked all three out by proclaiming she was ANTM and doing some sort of grimacey pout.

Nigel called ShaRaun up on the differences between beauty queen and top model. Bitch please! Beauty queens are all about world peace which when said by ShaRaun becomes the most risible thing you could've thought of! Just when you thought he was going to give up hope, Isis came along and posed and knew about light. She is awesome.

There was a bit of bitching naturellement then onto the first photoshoot.

Apparently there was some sort of election or something happening in the US last year. No really. I know, I'm surprised too. Anyway, HHPOF! continued her quest to be the new Oprah by inveigling the importance of voting into the theme of the shoot, with the girls who hadn't registered to vote being signed up there and then.

Voting is a tenuous link to a photoshoot and understandably some of the girls had trouble understanding exactly what they were supposed to be portraying. Bitchy Clark didn't know what bureaucracy was and former BritBrit, McKey (wtf?) declined to tell her.

It was very meh until Isis stepped up to the plate. her voting 'issue' was Privacy and she rocked it despite ShaRaun being a petulant bully in the background.

On to judging, complete with a seriously cringesome final urge to vote, and we got told the prizes (go on, guess what they are!) and the added twist to being called first being that that picture would be displayed in the house all week. Surprisingly, Marjorie was called first followed by Isis. It went on until only Nikeysha and ShaRaun. Nikeysha couldn't take 'critique' and ShaRaun couldn't take a good picture.

Buh-bye ShaRaun. Fantastically, she collapsed and wailed and cried and was gloriously ungracious in her defeat.

Next week more stuff happens but we all know we're really waiting for Makeover Dramz....

Apologies for the lateness of the post! Normal service resumed next week!


Anonymous said...


Great post.

I can't get in to ANTM - mostly because Tyra scares me.

Does she scare you?

- Cheryl

Never Enough Shoes said...

Only because I worry for the safety of those around her.

I must admit that her bouncing bosom in the opening credits of this season are terrifying and apparently have a life of their own!