Monday, 23 February 2009

Oscars 2009 WIN!: Kate Winslet

So Kate Winslet FINALLY (inevitably?) won an Oscar and did so wearing a very understated but beautiful Yves Saint Laurent dress.

It managed to incorporate the one shoulder trend but also had a very beautiful lace overlay on it too. The colour and the fit were perfect for Kate and her jewellery complemented it all.

And I loved Mr Jay telling us that while her hair looked retro it was actually very futuristic! Amazing!

Oscars 2009 WIN!: Sarah Jessica Parker

SJP can always be relied upon to look stunning in one way or another. This time it was old school glamour in Dior Haute Couture or, as she insisted on pronouncing it, Oat Couture. Insert your own jokes here.

Mr Jay complained about the lack of product in her hair but I think the floaty romantic curl look is perfect for such a floaty romantic dress. She was also very lovely to Seacrest and Fearne Cotton which also wins her points.

Oscars 2009 FAIL!: Amanda Seyfried

While there's no doubt that Amanda Seyfried is a pretty young thing, this Valentino dress is not the right thing to be wearing. Ok so bows are in but surely not to make yourself look like a giant present? Especially when it adds unnecessary bulk?

I'm not sure that the shoes are right either. So in conclusion, pretty until you get to the shoulders then fug all the way down to the shoes.

Oscars 2009 FAIL!: Frieda Pinto

It hurts my soul a little bit to tell you that Frieda Pinto's dress was designed by John Galliano. I suspect that my lack of love for this dress is because it just seemed too old for her. And because on reflection, it's not the best thing that Galliano has ever designed. The colour is fabulous but it seems very old fashioned and not in a good vintage way.

On the plus side, her hair and make up were flawless and she got to walk the carpet with the very cute Dev Patel who she may or may not be going out with. Kudos to them for not punching Seacrest as well.

Oscars 2009 WIN!: Natalie Portman

Oh my goodness. My girl crush on Natalie Portman has been documented before and here she shows why.

Going against the grey/silver/cream grain, she looked stunning in this pink Rodarte dress. The tan lines were a bit of a distraction but quite frankly who cares when they're on someone as beautiful, smart and funny as Ms Portman? *stops swooning*

Oscars 2009 FAIL!: Melissa George

Oh dear. Apparently Melissa George missed the memo that it was the Oscars and not a Diana Ross convention.

Wearing an immediately recognisable Dolce & Gabbana dress viewing it from the bodice initially, the scroll down revealed this poufe of a fishtail. Not quite right at all. And what was Angel from Home and Away doing at the Oscars anyway?

Oscars 2009 WIN!: Penelope Cruz

I don't know how she/her stylist got hold of this but Penelope Cruz looked beautiful in this vintage 1950s Balmain dress. Although it could have been seen as a bit fussy what with the large lace detailing on the skirt, it was subtle enough to be elegant and classic.

I did read some snipey comments that it was a bit wedding dressy but surely that's down to the colour (a very popular one for the evening) than anything else. And quite frankly other than getting married, where else can you wear such a dress other than at the Oscars?!

Oscars 2009 WIN!: Miley Cyrus

I think I'm in the minority here but I really liked Miley Cyrus' dress. It was pretty and surprisingly age appropriate for such a detailed dress. The scallop layering and beading is immense and she did joke that the dress weighed more than her. The belt doesn't seem to quite go but isn't a complete disaster.

It's designed by Zuhair Murad who I must admit to not being familiar with. Trusty sidekick Google though has revealed that he makes very beautiful, intricate dresses and that we'll probably see a lot more from him in future.

Oscars 2009 FAIL!: Jessica Biel

Now given that Jessica Biel has a) one of the hottest bodies in Hollywood and b) one of the best pieces of arm candy in the form of Justin Timberlake, how the hell did she manage to look so fug?

A combination of a poorly fitting and, sadly to say, poorly designed Prada dress, messed up hair and blah make up. And no JT. And talking on her phone while on the red carpet.

And although you can't see them here, apparently she was wearing black closed toe heels. *sigh*

Oscars 2009 WIN!: Amy Adams

Upon seeing Amy Adams' necklace, I had a frenzy of want and decided that it won jewellery of the night if nothing else. It took me ages to find out who it was by though. Turns out it's by Fred Leighton. I covet it.

Her dress is by Carolina Herrara and wins for colour and the black detailing on the bodice though I'm not too sure about the connection of the skirt to the bodice. It adds a bit of bulk that shouldn't be there. But definitely an overall win.

Oscars 2009: Dresses Galore!

Well I stayed up until the wee hours last night getting my first glimpses of who wore what and I have to say, overall it was fairly impressive. There weren't that many duds and make up and hair were generally faultless.

I'll be updating throughout the day with pictures and more specific comments but if you want to see my initial reaction then head on over to Twitter to see what was running through my head at the time!

And also check out Catwalk Queen and the ever fabulous GFY girls for their thoughts.

Friday, 20 February 2009

Fugly Shoe Of The Day

Because my eyes can't take any more, this is the last of the fug for today and it's left to our dear friends at Office with the most aptly named shoe ever.

Behold the 'What's It All About' wedge boot thing! Indeed Office, what is it all about? It looks like some sort of customised ice skating boot which is what it may well be.

Whatever, I'm OVER peep toes in boots. They have no place in boots so stop it now m'kay?

Details: Fug can be all yours for £85 (WTF?!)

Fugly Shoe Of The Day

Proof that fugly isn't confined to the high street are these Brian Atwood boots in pukeariffic brown tie dye.

The shape of the boot itself is perfectly fine - very elegant and light. It's just the fabric renders all that insignificant in the shadow of its fug.

And the price? £565. Umhm. No.

Fugly Shoe Of The Day

Oh Office. You will never fail to disappoint me when it comes to designing abominations alongside absolute beauties!

Take these sandal boots. Now consider the concept of a sandal and a boot combined into one handy to wear item. Now look at them again and confirm your darkest fears.

I don't get it. They're not weather appropriate in any way which would be one argument for them. Nor can I see them styled with anything. The only person I can see wearing them is a Geldof Girl and quite frankly, they should hardly be held up as any kind of aspirational icon.

And I can't decide if they're overpriced at £40 or fairly reasonable in Office terms. One thing I'm definitely sure about is that they exude a distinct aroma of Fug Du Jour.

Fugly Shoe Of The Day

So apologies for the gap in the fug. Teh interwebs and I fell out over my router. We've made up now so Friday is going to be Bumper Fugly Day, with a pretty treat at the end to prevent total despair at the state of the shoe design world.

So first up we have this offering from Jessica Simpson. Generally I actually quite like her shoes - they're fairly simple, classic styles that don't make you recoil in horror but then nor do they make you squee with delight. The problem comes when her design team tries to venture into "fashion" and their fervoured minds come up with evils like this.

A lot of brogue tassleing, peep toe, suede, platform, studs, heel. It's All Too Much. But if they float your boat then there's $10 off at

Monday, 16 February 2009

Fugly Shoe Of The Day

First up in Fugly Week is this offering from Office. They call it Lethal Fringing. I call it Fugging Lethal. It's definitely a case of Too Many Trends happening in one shoe. Fringing? Check. Moccasin stylings? Check. Platform? Check. Shoeboot? Check.

Sadly I can see them being a favourite in magazines, 'styled' in some sort of urban folksy cowboy ensemble featuring a maternity tunic belted in with, oooh, 3 belts, fringed suedette waistcoat and stonewash denim hotpants and splashed with "SO HOT RIGHT NOW!!!" fawnings. Ugh. If this actually becomes a reality, I will officially renounce women's magazines forever.

If you want to take a closer gawp in a freak show kinda way then do so here or in store. Don't blame me for any damage to your retinas caused by prolonged exposure to such fug.

Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Shoe Of The Day/Fugly Shoe Of The Day

Oh my, am I in a quandary! I like perusing shoe retailers best seller lists to see what the shoe buying public is purchasing to adorn their feet. Today I was looking at Schuh's list and came across these offerings from who else but Irregular Choice.

And do you know what? I think I kinda like them. I can only picture them peeping out from under some camel cord flares or some other suitably 70s inspired outfit but I like shoes that can do that.

In any other circumstance though, I'd be running away from them. Which then makes me think who is wearing them and with what?

If you want to make them work, then they're £63.37 from Schuh

NES Recommends...: Watch 'Coleen's Real Women' Tonight!

I wouldn't normally recommend it as I've never seen it before but tonight's episode of 'Coleen's Real Women' features my very talented and gorgeous friend Kayti Peschke who's the photographer for the photoshoot.

I think the premise of the show is the same as [Insert country of choice] Next Top Model but featuring 'real' women (I know, like you don't get that from the title!). Coleen McLoughlin/Rooney/whatever always comes across as lovely so quite why I've not watched it before is a mystery.

Anyway, it's on tonight on ITV2 at 9pm. If you don't get ITV2 then you can watch online following broadcast.

Monday, 9 February 2009

America's Next Top Model: Season 11 Episode 3 - The One Where Nothing Much Happens At All And We're All Still Waiting For Makeover Dramz

So this week started with the girls getting back to the house to see Marjorie's pic already up. Marjorie acted all coy and nervous but I suspect inside she's all "Damn bitches! I OWN this thing now!". Maybe.

Anyhow, it's a good one this week - Benny Ninja and pose-a-rama shenanigans! He introduces the girls to Aussie glamazon Bree Robertson. She is crazy flexible and appropriately labelled 'Model and contortionist'. Amazing.

Benny'n'Bree (what is with all the Bree-ness in ANTM?!) slipped into some fabric tubes and started firing off pose after pose. Posing in fabric tubes you ask? Sounds insane but provided something to push against to get those crazy shapes and poses. Nikeysha got some critique and guess what? Back chatted her way against it. At this point I figured she was the goner this week.

*sigh* The predictable faux lesbionic action happened during a game of Truth Or Dare with bi-sexual Elina and All American Cali Girl Clark. Cute Lil Hannah was uncomfortable with all the sexiness and transsexiness going on. Sheena called her out on it but she didn't explain herself very well. Well when you grew up without electricity... Cue the tears and a life lesson in how not to offend people.

Onto the challenge. Ooh ooh! Modelling for Tarina Tarantino!!! I looooove her stuff. Lucky them! Unfortunately, a lot of them didn't seem to get the whole idea of posing. There was a lot of dubious positioning of products and body parts and a lot of toe action. Eww. Feet are nasty y'all. Nikeysha was so out this week. Who the heck steps on set and annouces they need to go to the toilet?!

Sheena is hoochy. Girl can't help it. Yeah she's flexible but there's no need for all the crotch showing! Elina won the challenge, simply for not being as awful as the rest of them I think.

A photoshoot where the girls have to hang off a hot air balloon? Marvellous. Except it was too windy for the balloon so the girls were hanging of a rope ladder on a crane. Which is not so marvellous.

Wow. Elina is awesome. Her face is so symmetrical and her poses were great. Brittany was a very frowny. There was a lot of issues with a lot of the girls. Mr Jay went into super bitch mode with frustration.

Judging time! Do you know the prizes? Do you?! Paulina's hair was not working for her this week. Nigel was totally working it. I worry that HHPOF! Miz Tyra tries to stroke him all the time.

Nikeysha was picked on for her weight letting her poses down but her face was awesome.

Lauren Brie was great - all angles and poised ankles. Paulina and Tyra disagreed over Isis' shot. She had faded a bit this week in all honesty.

Tarina Tarantino loved Sheena's shot but Paulina questioned the realness of her breasts. Sheena stepped forward and admitted they weren't after first denying it which won the judges over.

Joslyn had a good shot and was very cute again. I like her though I don't think she'll win.

Lauren won the pic of the week with one of the best photos EVER IN ANTM HISTORY!! Apparently. Elina next, then Joslyn to round out the top 3.

Final 2..... Isis and Nikeysha. Isis had struggled this week and Nikeysha was just annoying as hell. Would I be right in my prediction...? Yes, yes I would because I am awesome. And ANTM has become predictable in its editing. It's got to the point where the girl featured the most is the one going home. I suppose it means they get their maximum five minutes of fame but please, mix it up a bit!

But more importantly, when are the make overs?!?!?!?!

Friday, 6 February 2009

Shoe Of The Day

I truly believe in a former life, I was an MGM star like Ginger Rogers or Debbie Reynolds and I got to dance with Gene Kelly for a living. My attraction to shoes like this and my love of all things that sparkle are a current life reminder, I'm sure of it!

Every time I see these in Office, I stroke them and resist the temptation to try them on and foxtrot round the store. Quite frankly what more could you want from a special occasion shoe? It has glitter. It has sparkles. It has leg lengthening height and champagne/nude satin. It is, in short, magnificent.

It comes in black too but that is nowhere near as awesome.

If you need a pair too, they're £80 and in store now.

Thursday, 5 February 2009

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

America's Next Top Model: Season 11 Episode 2 - VOTE With Your Smiling Eyes!

This week saw our plucky wannabes move into their new house in LA (I'm confused though - I thought ANTM had relocated back to NYC? Or was I just imagining it?) with the obligatory shrieking and squealing and squeeing. Of course the house was like a shrine to HHPOF! Miz Tyra with her fierceness looking at them from every available space.

And thank goodness they've done away with the scrolling Tyra Mail. Instead, a tv flashes up a fabulous pic of Miz Tyra doing her best US Postal worker impression. Old-meets-nu-skool - nice touch.

Anyhoo, inevitably the girls who were born girls started asking Isis all sorts of questions about being transgender and were for the most part very supportive. Apart from one of the Brittney/Brittany/Britney/whatevers now aka ShaRaun who was ridiculously rude and mean.

The first task was a meet'n'greet with the judges which was tenuously linked to magic and magicians or something. The most important bit was the entrance of Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker. This was gratuitously filmed with lingering close ups and no complaints. Paulina, Nigel and Miz J seperated into various rooms and the girls had to run and find them and tell them a bit about themselves. Sweet sweet Marjorie became cloying with her nerves and teeth, Seriously, the girl is all doe eyes and teeth. Miz J seemed to get on well with Joslyn and ShaRaun freaked all three out by proclaiming she was ANTM and doing some sort of grimacey pout.

Nigel called ShaRaun up on the differences between beauty queen and top model. Bitch please! Beauty queens are all about world peace which when said by ShaRaun becomes the most risible thing you could've thought of! Just when you thought he was going to give up hope, Isis came along and posed and knew about light. She is awesome.

There was a bit of bitching naturellement then onto the first photoshoot.

Apparently there was some sort of election or something happening in the US last year. No really. I know, I'm surprised too. Anyway, HHPOF! continued her quest to be the new Oprah by inveigling the importance of voting into the theme of the shoot, with the girls who hadn't registered to vote being signed up there and then.

Voting is a tenuous link to a photoshoot and understandably some of the girls had trouble understanding exactly what they were supposed to be portraying. Bitchy Clark didn't know what bureaucracy was and former BritBrit, McKey (wtf?) declined to tell her.

It was very meh until Isis stepped up to the plate. her voting 'issue' was Privacy and she rocked it despite ShaRaun being a petulant bully in the background.

On to judging, complete with a seriously cringesome final urge to vote, and we got told the prizes (go on, guess what they are!) and the added twist to being called first being that that picture would be displayed in the house all week. Surprisingly, Marjorie was called first followed by Isis. It went on until only Nikeysha and ShaRaun. Nikeysha couldn't take 'critique' and ShaRaun couldn't take a good picture.

Buh-bye ShaRaun. Fantastically, she collapsed and wailed and cried and was gloriously ungracious in her defeat.

Next week more stuff happens but we all know we're really waiting for Makeover Dramz....

Apologies for the lateness of the post! Normal service resumed next week!