Wednesday, 13 February 2008

A Shoe In The Life. Part I: The Fuck Me Shoe

No matter how many or how few pairs of shoes a woman owns, one thing is certain. She will always own a pair of Fuck Me Shoes.

Fuck Me Shoes (FMSs for short) are those shoes that are a little bit too much, that would never see the light of day were it not for the correct alignment of the planets resulting in the awesome kind of self confidence that makes you look in the mirror and think "Damn, I'm hot!".

But what do FMSs actually do to a woman? How do they do it? Why do they work?

Firstly, let's take the physical aspects. FMSs are generally high heels - the height dependent on the wearer. High heels throw the natural posture out so that in order to balance, a woman's hips and breasts are pushed forward and her derriere is pushed back. Way to highlight those obvious areas! Standing like this also requires the stomach to be held in - no need for Bridget Jones knickers! Not to mention what they do for the legs and ass. Legs are lengthened purely via the muscle needed to sustain effectively standing and walking on tippy-toes, while the ass is rendered pert and shapely for the same reason. The leg and foot shape are important on a sub-conscious level - feet will point during orgasm.

You do the maths.

Then there's the mental effect. No, not that they send a woman crazy due to the possible pain inflicted by wearing such footwear. The mental effect is that FMSs empower a woman, allow her to be the woman who can have anyone she wants, no strings attached if she feels like it. They have the power to induce confidence in appearance, conversation, allow a woman to take complete command of a situation. Walking in heels requires some sway of the hips, makes a woman taller. Combine these with killer confidence and when the woman wearing them walks into a room, she feels like a star - all eyes turn to her. Hell, even if they don't, she doesn't notice because she knows she looks good. She FEELS good.

Those are some of the more obvious and general reasons why FMSs work. What man can resist the allure of a woman who radiates confidence, beauty, sex appeal? A woman who can bewitch with one look and one conversation borne out of these radiating qualities? FMSs allow a woman to be whoever she wants to be for the time she's wearing them in a way that no other shoe can do.

As for my FMSs? A four inch pair of black patent stilettos that cost me all of £10 (about $20). They're among the cheapest pairs of shoes that I own but they work every time!

This post was originally published here